Tattoo is all healed now! Bit of a warts and all picture of me in side view. For those concerned/interested in meaning, a passage from one of my very favorite books:
“a feeling of timelessness, the feeling that what we know as time is…. all part of a pattern that can be truly understood only by opening the doors of perception and experiencing it… in this moment… this supreme moment… this kairos.”
Tom Wolfe, The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test
I’m in Portland by the way. Currently in the Museum of Art having a cultural wander. Two men are staring at a photo of a stick discussing what it means. I’m not sure how they would take to me telling them it’s a photo of a stick.
My month of living in a van has come to an end. From a life-threatening car crash on day 2 to the best times of my life, it’s been a whole range of things combined together to turn out as the greatest thing I’ve ever done - well worth the $2500 extra dollars we’ve had to pay to get the van fixed. I’d do it all again in an instant, because experiences like this don’t come about too often. Every day from now on, I’ll be working hard so I can do something like this again. Hope this post finds you all well and thank you for continued support!
(p.s - the girl on the van with me is my girlfriend, lauratrosh. Her blog is great, and in about 3 weeks when we are home will be full of her amazing photos of our trip!)
Hey guys. So me and my girlfriend and my battered-up van made it to San Diego in one piece, where we’ve stopped off for a few days before moseying through the California desert to get to Vegas… with no aircon. So that’s going to go about as well as it sounds! Despite the accident and the fact we’ve both completely run out of money, we’ve still had a great time. I’ve woken up in some incredibly beautiful places this past month and seen some wonderful things - stuff that has got me writing again. I hope you liked my last poem.
I still have a lot to do before heading back to blighty - I’m going to Portland after Vegas which I’ve heard is a great place in the world to be right now for an artist. In other news, before I left I shortlisted a few poems to make a small collection from and I’ve done a couple of sketches to accompany them.
thesesagepoets has been going strong in my absence and every time I get onto some wifi I get lots of notifications about it. Well done editors, you have been ace. I will be giving it a big update - new theme, new way of working, and maybe even some new editors (apply now)!
Hope this finds you all well, and remember I’ll try my hardest to reply to all and any messages sent to me, so send away!
The sick man of Europe swallowed his medicine,
so then slowly his symptoms faded.
This served to hide the malignant roots,
the terrifying truth -
he was only as sick as the doctors made him;
only as well as they wanted him to be.
When he was sick
they sat betting on his deathbed,
and when he was well
they wagered when he’d be back.
The sick man of Europe has never wished to rebel;
he thinks “they always make me better, even if the cure ain’t so swell.”
So he pays the good doctor,
even tips him with a smile -
who snarls back in appreciation
knowing he’ll be a little while,
and now the ward is full of patients, each sick in their own right,
with swarms of prodding doctors
gambling by their sides,
and they all drink up their medicines
then one by one they die.
All my friends are depressed,
back into teenage impress,
trying to return to our best;
lines off cd cases,
got the ”mind-altering bug”
he says,”well said” I said,
so sad and also sleepless
hoping so help me we’ll leave this
planet and waking-dream big -
pick images out of mind’s recess,
by morning we’ll all forget;
smoke rings and ground pieces
of pretty green buds
an old friend, now
I make friends with leeches
and o god the time goes on,
goes on and feels like no end,
but then the end is tinged regret,
and in the end we’re all depressed,
and no-one’s sure what’s next,
and no-one’s sure what’s next.
As with every time I am here, there is good and bad. I love the vibrancy of the states; almost everywhere seems to feel alive. Everyone looks busy, interesting, open to talk and talking loudly and that has it’s negatives and positives. The biggest downside for me is always going to be the number of homeless people. Obviously they exist in the UK - but I don’t feel like it’s the same sort of homeless. The homeless here just look desolate, lost, beat. So beat that you look in their eyes and you don’t even really see a person in there any more, more like a machine that’s only alive in the most basic sense. And that’s the contrast to the vibrancy that I see in other people here, and it makes it all the more sad and more difficult to ignore.
It’s done! Had it in mind for about 2 years so I’m relieved I finally got round to it. Kairos means something along the lines of; the supreme/perfect moment. It’s sort of a reminder to myself in the future - don’t settle, don’t do something you don’t want to, when the moment arises notice it, take it by the horns and do something with it. Or something. It’s pretty fresh so it’s not healed yet, but hopefully it won’t take too long. Hope this finds you all well anyhow!
theuniversealive said: Lol just watched it yesterday. Classic
First off glad you took my comments on breakfast club as a joke… some people got rather offended! I’m just getting ‘kairos’ on my shoulder in a typewriter style font. Hopefully it’ll look pretty cool but I’ll put a picture of it up tomorrow!
Just watched The Breakfast Club. The film that teaches you that if you’re a cool stoner, you can get with the most popular girl in school, if you’re a hot weird girl, you can have a makeover and get with the top athelete, and if you’re a geek you can do everyone else’s work for them then go home alone. The 80s.
you are the salt of the earth,
with feet of clay, the ground
was brined with the sweat of your brow.
All those thorns in the flesh
in the act of giving the breath of life
only to find
you’ve grown such sour grapes;
but you reap what you sow, and
if you want to live
from the fat of the land,
don’t let the sun go down on your wrath,
and make your work a labour of love,
because man can not live by bread alone.
oh ye of little faith!
remember that for everything there is a season;
reap the whirlwind!
fight the good fight!
win by the skin of your teeth!
sometimes though the spirit is willing,
the flesh is weak.
city by the bay
say something to me -
fallen in love with your
peaks and troughs,
subway train which
creaks and rocks
it’s way under the water;
far away from my usual ocean
sea spray in some way
something stirred here,
a half smile turned pacing the
foggy morning streets, feet
tracing their dips and heights
with new delight.
I’ve had worse commutes home from work…
For the next month or so, I live here. Somewhere in chinatown, san fransisco, near the city lights bookstore and north beach. I’m almost self-consciously retracing the footsteps of beatniks of old. So far, I really dig it. No doubt I’ll have new work to show you soon. I’m reading a book on Derrida and deconstruction also, so i sort of consider this literary training, the honing of technique. Hope this finds you all well.
vox-clamantis-in-deserto said: omg you’re coming to the US??? where in the US??? i hope you have fun!!
I’m coming to….
Roadtripping around Cali
Austin, Dallas, Oklahoma
I will certainly have fun but at the moment the idea of it all is making me want to puke with fear.